You just don't get it. To this day, I'm still in love with you. I will never have the courage to get over you... I see myself in you, and it makes it beyond difficult to let drift away. You're always going to be my something sweet to get me by.. your voice alone could save my life..
I know you're happy and all... but i can't take it. I can't let you go.
Every single day a memory passes me..
remember Brandon and Abby's wedding? I'm absolutely sure you're thinking the exact same moment that I am.
I want to have those epic COD and Breakfast Pizza nights.
I want to run to Walmart at 3am just because.
Bottom line, I want my best friend back.
there's not a damn thing in this world that I wouldn't do for you... I'm sorry for some things I've done. I regret alot, but I don't regret you. You are still the best part of my life.. I chapter I cannon just set down.
We have done some crazy things, that any couple wish they could accomplish in a lifetime.
We drove through almost 4 feet of snow when we were 16 just so we could get a soft taco at taco bell.
We strapped a canoe on top of your cavalier.
We made our own fishing pole from a stick and literally caught a fish.
You sleeping in your car until I got off of work.
You know, I didn't miss a SINGLE one of your volleyball games? not one. Whether you were on the best or worst team, I was always your biggest fan, and I still am to this day.
I wish you could hear me... I wish you could see me.. I feel like a ghost.
I just can't grasp the concept of this life without you.
moments of impact.
"creole williams... lived down a dirt road."
you're the only one I'd want to sing to sleep..
i know my mind is everywhere on this post... but when I think of you, I can't think straight.
"Funny how a melody, sounds like a memory."
You're my best friend... and I absolutely am In love with you.. and will love you more than anyone else ever could. I miss you Shannon Meryl Jones. you're my hero. my heart..

Everything is going to be okay. I'm here for you now.. Let's turn this world around.. And never look back.

Every night I know where he is, and where he should be. It absolutely kills me. If I meant enough to him, he would change his mind immediately, and be there when I felt I couldn't go on... but he wasn't. I'm dealing with my demons on my own, which I deserve. I just crave the feeling of his love, his touch, his caring words, just to hear him say "everything will be okay" would be enough to get me through the day, but I know the truth. I know it won't happen. I have to let this go. I have to pick up the pieces, close this chapter and possibly this book, leave the library and find my own path. My own journey is beginning and maybe I just haven't realized it yet. I'm holding onto this feeling of security. Now that I have nothing secure, I just feel lost. But it's quite possible that's how things should be, get kicked on your butt so you can figure your life out. Really get to know yourself and the things YOU want in life. Maybe there's a bigger plan for you.

They are delicate creatures that need nurturing and respect. Knowing yourself and your emotions, no matter how undesired they are by you, you can't change how you feel about certain things, and so you have to be completely truthful about them. They are going to reside in your heart and build a home, something you can't ignore forever. Anyways, no matter if you feel like you are letting someone down, they deserve the truth. Everyone deserves the truth in any subject actually. If you feel you can't tell the truth about something you probably shouldn't be doing it or you shouldn't be in the situation you're in that you feel like you have to lie about something. I want to look back at this some day and say I kept my promises to myself, I stayed true to me.

Everyday gets a little bit better, yet a little bit worse at the same time. I keep holding onto this feeling of overwhelming love for someone that returns none of the feelings and that is the hardest battle I've ever had to fight, within myself. There's almost no way to overcome this war raging inside my soul. If I give up and let go of these feelings, of my memories, my dreams of this life we could have, I'm left with this feeling of I could have tried harder, I didn't give it my all. But then again if I keep up what I'm doing, I'm going to die of a broken heart because every time he doesn't look at me like he used I feel myself falling a little harder, a little bit farther from where I'd like to be. Time is such a crippling thing because every day that passes feels like a day I could have been better, yet it's the only way the heart can heal, the only way people can be forgiven. If I've learned one thing after this whole situation, it's that people's feelings are nothing to play with.