"Jeeps are great because they can go... Ultraturanium"
~my smart 11 year old sister

"Hey don't sprinkle me"
-bri

When a young child tells you "you need to cut all your hair off and make it into a wig because people would buy it because it's pretty." Thank you young child. That was quite a sweet thing for you to say.

Netflix is so insecure sometimes. Yes, I'm still here.

I NEED ME A SKYDIVING BUDDY.
Requirements:
-of the age of 18
-not annoying
-give good pep talks to help me from backing out of falling 14,000 ft.

I wish my space was still a hoppin place. Man, I miss them old days

"It's not pornographic. It's just four people...Connecting....With aliens."
~OITNB

"That was either a f***ing skunk or an armadillo! IDK"

When your eyebrow juxtaposition is on fleek

"That's so unappealing my nipples inverted."
~OITNB

"I've been washin my pits, tits, and naughty bits in the sink."
~OITNB

My life changed forever when I found out the word "slang" was actually short for "shortened language".
So slang is slang for slang

"I know these next presenters from my nightly imaginary three ways with them."
~Alan Cumming

Me: I got a stale and salty chip
Bri: sounds like most guys

I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me

Bras should be free. I didn't choose the boob life the boob life chose me
You know?

"Let's get something straight. I'm not."
~bri

I hate spotify ads because I listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing Lebron James say,"I'll tell you what makes me thirsty."

"I don't see a man. I see a reject from the sound of music"