Who ever thought getting your face painted could make you a badass?
Wrestling consists of two halves: sport and entertainment. The sport aspect of pro-wrestling has been debated for decades; but, for the most part, everyone does agree on one thing: wrestling is, at the very least, entertainment. Whether it’s good entertainment or not is decided by the individual. This individual, for example, thinks it’s pretty darn good.
But what makes a pretty darn good wrestling entertainer? Personally, I believe one must possess three key qualities: a strong ring presence, impeccable mic skills, and a healthy dose of character color.
A character’s color is determined by a lot of factors including their ring name, theme song, costume, and (if applicable) face-paint job. When done well, a sweet paint job can be key in adding a level of legit badassery to a character. Just look at Colonel Kurtz’s camouflage face in Apocalypse Now, the Joker’s scarred grin in The Dark Knight, or that anti-Semite’s Blue Man Group-inspired war paint in Braveheart. All badasses, right? Wrestlers are no different.
Some face-paint jobs are so-so—like Sting’s for example, which James O’Barr is still waiting on a royalty check from—but every once in awhile a wrestler’s face paint will literally define their character and career. Here are five of the best-painted faces in wrestling.
Demolition
Just before the Road Warriors, and well before the Powers of Pain, Demolition rocked the then-WWF with their leather bondage outfits. With their spike-studded masks on, Ax and Smash looked like a tag-team made up of the Gimp from Pulp Fiction and the dad from The People Under the Stairs. But the shard-like designs in red and silver paint that existed beneath those masks made Ax and Smash look more like... well, honestly, like depressed vets who drink away the darkness every day at their local VFW. But in sweet fucking face paint! These two demolished all of the other tag-team face paint that came after them! Yes, even you, Usos!
The Boogeyman
After months of creepy and mysterious promos, the Boogeyman finally debuted on Raw in 2005 with a cool look and an insane amount of hype. Unfortunately, right off the bat, one thing was obvious: he just wasn’t that good. Sure, he ate live worms—which, I don’t care what anyone says, is fucking awesome—but he wasn’t good in the ring or on the mic. His catchphrase—“I’m the Boogeyman... and I’m comin’ to getcha!”—was repeated ad nauseam, and, for some reason, he carried a huge alarm clock around with him. But the Boogeyman’s one saving grace was his face paint. From far away, the red and black patterning gave off a weird Darth Maul vibe, but up close you could tell the paint job was insanely detailed. In all honesty, he probably spent more time in the chair getting makeup applied than he did wrestling in the ring.
The Ultimate Warrior
The Ultimate Warrior’s face paint was simple, but it was a game changer. His entrance music, bright colors and bicep tassels were cool and all, but everyone knows it was Warrior’s face paint that would go on to become his calling card. To this day, fans show up to SmackDown! and Raw in Warrior face paint. You don’t see them sitting in the stands wearing Jeff Hardy or Goldust face paint, do you? Of course not. But the Ultimate Warrior’s face paint was as iconic as the man who wore it. Hell, I want to paint it on right now and run my daily chores. At the very least, it’ll give the women at my neighborhood post office something to talk about over dinner.
Finn Bálor
I’ll say what everyone is thinking: NXT’s newest Champ has the best look in all of wrestling. Not only is he a great wrestler, but his face/body paint is so goddamn impressive that it’s almost a shame that he sweats it off in the ring. Plain and simple, Bálor’s paint is a work of art. If you doubt me, just watch his entrance from NXT TakeOver: Unstoppable this past May.
Papa Shango
Papa Shango’s voodoo doctor gimmick from the early 1990s probably couldn’t be replicated today, mostly because of its somewhat questionable racist undertone. Oddly enough, Papa Shango beat out Kamala the Ugandan Giant—another wrestler of borderline racist undertones—for this spot in the list. All of this is to say, non-PC wrestlers often have the best face paint! Shango’s Day of the Dead-esque skull face paint was cool before its time, even if his overall shtick was voted both “Worst Gimmick” and “Most Embarrassing Wrestler” in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards in 1992. Still, cheese-ball curse chants aside, Shango had a look that still sells t-shirts today.