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I braided hair today! Did some bonding with Nicole. She told me how many cigs she had left in her pack and I told her we should count them down and celebrate when there gone. She seemed to get into it. Maybe I'm helping? Also went for a headlamp when trying to paint my nails. Still did an awful job.
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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why is my left boob kinda small?
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I just wanna fly. Finally off and nowhere to go.i might take myself scating. I used to love that.
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I am on the move. I have no where to live. Paying for a place would mean lousing my home. I thought I had it bad without power or water. Now there is no where to change. No where to sleep. My car stays trashed. Its embarising. Its almost over.
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I'll see you soon love.
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I am useless to myself. I need to pack and i know.it. if the deadline.comes and i dont have everything moved out i will have no one to blame but myself. I had this afternoon to do it and i didnt. I just feel so far from him. I dont wqnt to be alone right now. I know thats dangerous. I dont want to be sad but i am not well. I dont want to make someone put up with me. The options i have wouldnt evwn be able to know why im upset. I couldnt begain to explain our story. I dont even know if i should try to get help. Going out with someone and having.a great time feels.. wrong. Dissmissive. On today of.all days maybe i should stay home and try.to sleep. He argues that I honered the date well last night. I need an understanding hand. I ache.
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Six years to the day. I miss your face. "What the hell am I doing here?" So much to do before I can finally sleep.
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It's alright. Couch is more comfy alone anyways.
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