Yes. Oh yes.There is definitely a time and place.Enough time to leisurely close my eyes and create beautiful visuals of you. A place secluded and quiet to play with my thoughts. Alone, so no one can see as I slip into your worn tee shirt. Your scent on me. I imagine your labored, wanting breaths. My fingers act as yours as I remember your touch. Here. Yes. And your mouth here. My skin grows feverish with the memory of your caressings. Taking your time, my fingers travel down to where I need you to touch me. Your deliberate slowness makes me ache. I want to rush. To beg. Plead. But the moment is too precious. My inner thighs, moist to your touch. You find my secret and begin with slow circles, knowing the pleasure it brings me. As your rhythm quickens I arch my back. My hips automatically take up your rhythm, making love to your fingers. I hear me calling out to you as I`m released from the need and want. Yes. Enough time and a quiet place. To nap with the contentment of you. Written by: Cindy

To Hell With Honor. Honorable.Don`t want it.Still need it.It`s not mine to have.Still want it.I want it to hold me upon it`s lap.Whisper in my ear.Explore my soft neck.Trail delicate fingers up my thigh.Gently grasp my erect between it`s teeth.Slide so suavely, it`s seeking fingers under my waist.To struggle slightly against the cotton.Tilt my face to it`s and watch the pleading.Dizzy in the needing aroma that fills the air.Listen to the whimper as it hold`s fast.Giving in only when It hears it`s name.Demanding that I say it.A fantasy to never play with because of honor.It`s not mine to have. Written by: Cindy

To Be More. I watched my fingers leisurely tracing a pattern today. How very sensual it looked. I welcomed that feeling. Sensuality. I thought of caressing your body. Barely touching your skin. Drawing imaginary lines on your silhouette. I need to bring you pleasure. Me. I want to be more for you. A masseuse. To heal your physical. A divine singer. To serenade your spirit. Your love. To truly touch your heart. Written By: Cindy

See Me. Yes, I have regrets. I regret that in your eyes I`m just another. But still, I silently beg for you to see ME. How can I show you that I am the one who truly loves you? How can I convince you to love me? Why is life so unfair that the decision has to be yours? Do you know that it takes a decision? I regret that I ache so much to experience you. I regret allowing myself to need you in my life. I need you. Written by: Cindy

Please Remember. Yea, I`m angry.I need you to be too.You have lost that hunger for me.But I can`t live without you.Nor can I survive knowing your desire for me is gone.So I`m going to help you out.Knowing this lesson is wrong.Be angry as hell.I don`t care the reason.Your boss is an ass.Or just a long season.Pin me to the wall with a forceful hand.Leave sweet little red marks.Yes, thats it, where your grips land.Please touch me with a grudge.Coax my legs open with yours.Make me believe it with a well meant nudge.Hold my head steady with a fistful of hair.Bruise my mouth and throat with kisses.Pull at my garments until I am bare.Do you remember this feeling? Written By: Cindy

Peace And Pen. No slumber tonight. Their ceaseless ramblings won`t quiet. Searching for safety. They won`t allow it. They know where to find me, In the unbusy mind. Undestinguishable at first,I don`t want to look at their disease. There will be no comfort unless I let them in. Showing their faces in pushed aside events. Retelling stories of what they have done to me. Horrors of bedevilment to my tiny form. I reach for my weapon. Braving through anguish and anxiety. I`ll write those stories, telling on every last one. Closing the book, I`ll trap them inside. Leaving the monsters to torture themselves. Incessant molestings trapped in print. Leaving me to rest sound. Written By: Cindy

ILL. An ailment.Mine.I`ve forgotten about my disease.It`s called not enough.Sickness causes me to crave MORE.To act on impulse.Make rash decisions.It painfully alters my life.You are part of my disease.Unkind, but true.I will make you my playmate and nothing more; in fear ofkilling your spirit with my disease.Wanting more.My thoughts interpret it as a need more.Although I do need.I need you to save me.From me. Written By: Cindy

Comfort Came In A Stranger. I didn`t forget to live. It wasn`t my path. Grace and love never being mentioned. Instincts grew. Survival. Out of necessity. Vowed to silence by the familiars. To never tell. No need to ask why, the child understood. Understood stayed until the child went away. Hidden in womanly form. With hopes of fleeing from the need to survive the familiars always bring. In womanly form there was no more than fear. Trapping the child until she could bare no more. The child much stronger than she appeared. She took the woman`s hand with the answer in heart. No trust for the familiars, we needed an unknown. A child`s pursuit took us to an AGAPE form. Who told us it was time to be quiet no more. Told the child did. Describing them all. Continuing until the pains subsided, letting healing begin. No more need of survival for the woman and child. Now one day at a time, learning to live. Written by: Cindy

Anguish. I`ve given you my power. I don`t remember doing it. There was no celebration. No induction. Pretending it`s still mine is monumentous. I`m tiring. I can`t love you on my terms. There is no experiencing the joy without the pain. The joy of dreaming to hold you comes with the pain of wondering if you would reject holding me. The joy of you being the first thing I think of upon waking comes with the pain of knowing I`ll purposely anguish all on a someday hope. Still. If given the choice. I`d gladly trade my power for the privilege to love you. Written by: Cindy

Am So Me I watched you today. It brings both pleasure and pain. I try to hide. Me. I`m not a me at all. I`m a they and a them. I`ve lied to me. I`ve lied to you. They and them are emotional. Jealous. Abandoned. Not enough. They and them have hurt. I watched you not wanting me today. I hurt. Written By: Cindy

All Of Nine They see you.You are acknowledged.They don`t tell me their names, nor who is needed when situations arise. I know them all by emotion. Never in agreement, they keep searching. They need a partner who will love them all. A guardian figure to restore a healthy love to the abused, frightened child. The playmate to giggle and be silly with for the innocent. One with great understanding, patience and forgiveness with the unruly teenager. The naive one will need a willing teacher. An equal for the adult who needs to be taken seriously and be respected. A grand lover to fulfill the sensual women`s desires. An independant to recognize the importance of the independant. An individual open minded to allow the spiritual her God. And finally, someone for the one who just wants to be adored when she takes a bath wearing her favorite hat. Unconditional love is what they are looking for. Are you strong enough? Written by: Cindy

A Someday Begging.Do with me what you will.I will still love you.Carve your territory into my skin if you must.My body is your canvas.Control my breath as you please.I will still want you.Show me the shadows you fear.I beg of you, Please.Use this flesh as your temple.Play out your darkest carnal desire.Punish as you see fit.I need you.Permissions granted to you to release me.Allow the demon his rape victim, then come back to me my love.Only then can I be free from THEM that haunt me.Free me. Written By: Cindy