My song "Mistakes I've Made" suddenly got lots of plays on Spotify. People who've made mistakes are finding comfort? That's why I wrote it.

In the modern world we have “People who are famous for being famous”. But how they got famous in the first place is one of life's mysteries.

I read that scientists are baffled why we sleep. My wife said, "Well that's crazy, it's easy, the reason we sleep is because we get tired!"

I don't eat much meat but I'm not vegetarian. Fruit's good but I don't fancy fruitarianism. I could go with being a biscuitarain though.

The earlier in the day the friendlier strangers seem to be. As the day wears on it’s less appropriate to speak to strangers. It’s the rules.

If you are selling an old car & an off-duty police officer comes to view it. Be honest but don’t say, “It’s not much cop.”

BBC say “There could be up to 100 billion barrels of oil beneath the South of England”. So let's hire a crane to hoist the barrels out.

Follow your own path. Other routes may look more glamorous: The grass may look greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut.

I'm a little concerned about Brian my pet snail: he seems a bit sluggish this morning.

A huge red haze is presently on the surface of Mars. Scientists are at a loss to explain the red haze. Maybe the Martians are publicising a new Jimi Hendrix remix.

Normally I need about two weeks to psyche myself up to decorate a room, but today it was thrust upon me unawares, it's a little disconcerting.

"Find Out Who's Looking At Your Profile?" must be for people with stiff-necks, all you have to do is turn to head quickly and you'll see.