who am i, i wonder ???
who am i, i wonder ??? will any1 care,
if the way i feel leaves me lonely N in despair.
inside im broken, N fightin a war,
bc deep down inside, i dont kno if i want 2 fight anymore.
i tell every1 im strong, but thats all wrong,
bc NOT even jesus could help me w/what is right or wrong.
no1 ever wanted me or cared if i lived or died, N god has never shown me that hes really by my side.
altho ive been told god comes in the knick of time - ive yet 2 see him come N help me when ive fallen behind.
so i fight every battle alone - inside N out, in hopes that ill win another, w/out strikin out.
mayb 1 day god will say from above .... come home my child N ill show u my love.
written by:
cathy contreras jordon
08.19.2014 - 6:41 pm
copyright © cathy contreras jordon

y was i bullied ???
y was i bullied - y didnt they see,
how it made me feel - when they picked on me.
how they hurt me - i wish they knew,
i NOT only was bullied @ school N work - but in my home 2.
as hard as i tried 2 fit in @ home - nothin i could do would make them want 2 love me N treat me like i was apart of the family 2.
as an adult - they bullied me 2,
bcuz of who i was N bcuz i saw life in a different view.
its not really fair - whats wrong w/me,
y couldnt they love me - instead of hatin me.
they want me around if i will pretend - that my childhood was great N i was NEVER hurt by the things they did N said.
now we havent spoken in 13 yrs - bcuz they act like im nobody N wish i wasnt here.
bullyin isnt fun - it really hurts a lot 2. its a pain that last 4ever bcuz their actions N words pierced like a knife N broke my heart in 2. i try really hard 2 pretend N 4get this pain, but it plays a big part in my life of who i am N whether or not i want 2 remain.
written by:
cathy contreras jordon
7.15.2014 @ 2:35 pm
copyright © cathy contreras jordon

- what do u do when there no longer is a lite @ the end of the tunnel ???
- what do u do when all hope is gone N ur left w/nothin but hopelessness ???
- what do u do when all u feel is ... its u against the world ???
- what do u do when ur all alone N the people closest 2 u seem so far away ???
- what do u do when u cry out 2 god N beg 4 his mercy N love but all u get is another disappointment in ur world ???
- what do u do when every1 u grow 2 love N care about is taken from u ???
- what do u do when ur heart is empty N the empty hole cant b filled ???
- what do u do when u look god in the eye N all he can do is turn his head bc hes disappointed in u ???
- what do u do when god has turned his back on u N his love is only 4 the sinner next door.
- what do u do when u spend ur whole life tryin 2 do what is right N all u get in return is crap ???
- what do u do when u kno if u disappeared that u wouldnt b missed @ all ???
- what do u do when u cant fight any longer N u kno u fought ur last fight ???
- N what do u do when u look urself in the mirror N feel ur better off dead than
alive ???
** when the cons out weigh the pros its time 2 reevaluate N mayb death is better than life. **

i really hate when people assume 2 kno things bout people or assume that people kno about other peoples personal lives ...
i personally have enough problems tryin 2 keep track of my own life, let alone some1 elses.