I tried, this is it. I've resigned to the fact I was right back in 09' too late even for that. Suicide isn't an option any longer , just the meaningless purgatory of having nothing to fight for. Work, that's all I have. A fake smile plastered on to hide the damage, I wasn't loved hell I doubt I ever will be anything more than a hurdle or clown to be laughed at. All those years of pride, false hope, blind trust, and for what? I'm as empty as my hands now.

Why did I look. Why did I let myself get so unlovable, I'm never getting her back. I'm still going to work to respect her last wish and get financially responsible. I'm not moving on though, it's been half a year since she told me she divorcing. She won't even acknowledge me during the separation, I'm dead to her. I know how she felt all those years I neglected her needs now FML.