“AI is coming for your jobs!”
I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it

My elderly neighbor reached 100 yesterday!
That’s the last time I get in the car with her when she’s late for bingo.

I just heard someone say, "A rat I follow on Instagram just had a stroke."
I'm struggling to process this.

Optometrist: Better or worse?
Me: MUCH worse – I can see why my wife yells at me now.

Kidnappers: Get in the car!Me: Shotgun!

Always check your candy.
I opened a bag of M&Ms and found a bunch of Ws

Unicorns to the left of me
Mermaids to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the Centaur with you

Anything new?

Kid: Everything poops?Me: KindaK: Trees don’t poopM: Trees produce waste, which in their case is oxygenK: So we’re breathing tree poop?

Does anyone read anything I post here? I'm betting not, but if you do, let me know.

Myspace's new moto.
"MySpace; now with more space!" :)

Well, I'm here for my "When the mood strikes me" check in.