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Private Mix
Classic - My Photos
Gary Wheat
Photos migrated from Classic Myspace on 2/20/2014 6:58:31 PM
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    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      I work part-time as a figurehead for lusty homosexual pirates. They make me dangle painfully from a lubricated prow. It pays well.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      I'm raising the titanic with my sheer brawn. Watch my burly muscles flex as I drag up this renowned artifact!
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      That was the last time we smuggled by ship. Six months at sea and all we brought home were hookers, habits, and Michael J Fox impressions.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      What if you were Siamese quadruplets with 3 hot girls? If you nailed them would it be incest or masturbation?
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      Our law firm offers the experience, service, and smashed sweet potatoes that can only come from a townhouse kitchen.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      My best friend is a giant lizard. If you paint him powder white and cover him in leather he almost looks human.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      After this I unhinged my jaw and swallowed him whole.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      Nothing gets the vile taste of pristine Caribbean ocean out of your mouth like a dip in Lake Ontario.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      After beating this hapless victim into the ground, I commandeered his cash funds and stuffed them into the stash pocket of my designer bun.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      My face looks like a delicious blueberry flavored moon pie and my jersey boasts a tremendous slimming effect. Could this be the new me?
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      Jealous of his figure, I contemplate tossing my beer can at his face and disassembling his tank top. Then I become aroused and cannot stand.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      Target practice for haterz.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      It's a game where we press our heads together as hard as we can until someone's brain explodes. It sucks when you're in the midd
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      Were it socially acceptable, I would grow my hair out and style it exactly as hers or just transplant her entire face onto my head.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      This is basic Myspace VooDoo. The key is gentle lighting and angles. Were this a full-body nude profile, your eyes would require salting.
    • Classic - My Photos Mix Photo
      Smirk? Well, yes--my free hand is massaging a nipple through my cotton sweater.
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