Now for a follow up appt.

Valley

No, not in Sacramento, at Santa Clara Vally Medical Center.

Dr Louis Frank Salamone did everything he could to make my surgery go as bad as possible, making post-surgery as painful as can be. I should have known when they called me to change my schedule and my doctor from a woman to a man. And should have known even more when I heard "I feel sorry for her" after getting my first consult.

I'm Teka, waiting for someone to restore me to Te Fiti. I can't do it myself because of the war.

Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, there, not there, there, not there, there, not there, there, not there, there, not there, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go, go, don't go. It's a tug of war, I'm the flag, and still not sure who is on which side pulling.

TMI Deletes..

I was so much more stable, hateless, understanding, loving and happy before all of this.

"They" have literally destroyed my life. Any help would be of appreciation.

So down and low, W and I made up on the 26th. Still, sometimes in the middle of the night and wake up, "WHY?"

Arrows, circles, stop signs, confusion turnes me into a heartless, loveless zombie every time. It makes me forget, paralyzes me, traumatizes me so that they can send me away into thin air, lifeless. Everyone hates me, even me. I don't deserve love, so numbness protects me, chastises my heart, cold, black, and beatless. The tears flowing from my face right now just lest me know there is a sliver of light begging to shine through. Will I ever be bright again? I'm doubtful.

This is officially the worst Christmas on my record.

They say I'll lose my three if I try to find thee.

Tangled in a web of greed and dishonesty. Where to go?!

Such confusion.

Lies manipulation
Anything to rid us of our temptation
Put us in a mouse maze
Try to create haze
Trying to get us to fall through the holes
Fakes, sneaks, right next to us, moles
U turns, stop signs, green lights, construction beware
Anything to make us feel like we're unaware
Anything to turn us upside down
Make us trip, not reach the line and frown

Hoping this Christmas will be the first good one since 2009. 19 more days left. 🙏🏾