I was already having a crappy week, then Prince died.
Every week I'll be here to reveal some of my favorite moments from the Internet. Whether it be bingeing television shows, streaming sports, or simply getting lost in a YouTube rabbit hole, I'm here to give you my top picks every Friday. This week, I'm watching videos of doves crying.
The 4/20 Smoketacular Special Edition
Recommended Pairing: Whatever your one weed friend who talks about strain heritage and CBT's hands you to enjoy while smoking at his/her apartment.
My original plan for 4/20 was to goof off and play some guitar with my friends, watch a Cohen brother movie or two, then feast on something delivered by a local hero. That seemed like a great plan. However on the 19th I was horribly maimed in a freak yoga accident. (I threw my back out hopping off a yoga mat after some light stretching to warm up. It was the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me in years. Fuck yoga.)
So my plans shifted from going out to spending the day in bed. And if there was ever a day to spend the day taking it easy, this was the day, right?
I nibbled on a little piece of "quad dose Cheeba Chew," microwaved one of those cloth bags full of rice made for pregnant women, climbed in bed and opened up Netflix. Three episodes into the second season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and it just wasn't working for me. I decided to switch gears and save it for another time.
The final episode of Better Call Saul's second season had been waiting for me for a few days, and it did not disappoint. I am constantly surprised how much fun it is to watch a show that gets most of its best moments out of situations where the viewer knows the outcomes are predetermined. The fact that they got a prequel spin-off about a lawyer to be about as fun to watch as a show about a meth dealing chemistry teacher absolutely blows my mind. Then, the Internet put together the first letter of each episode and realized it spelled out a hint about season three. [SPOILER ALERT: "F****'s Back."] Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould are wizards/American heroes.
As the night wore on and by back stiffened up, I decided to watch my favorite movie of all time, Wayne's World, for the millionth time, then capped my night with a hot bath, a loosely rolled joint, and a few caucasians in homage to the Dude from The Big Lebowski. I got lit. All in all, a fairly successful Marijuana Day.
I woke up the next morning with a light case of post-stoner holiday fog, a horribly stiff back, and a growling stomach. I hobbled downstairs like a cartoon grandpa to a slew of messages full of bad news.
- The Pizza I had ordered right after my bath arrived approximately twenty-five minutes after I passed out cold in my bed. So basically I paid to not have pizza.
- My credit card statement was due.
- Mother Fucking Prince died.
Wait. Prince died? God damn it. 2016 can officially suck my dick. Can't we just have one week without a legend passing away? I know this is recency bias speaking, but this has to be the gloomiest start of the year I can remember.
So what do we do now? I guess we list all of our favorite Prince moments and declare 4/21 as Prince Day, a day where you make sweet love to your dearly beloved and party like it's 1999. I wish my back didn't hurt, the first part of Prince day sounds awesome.
Prince
Recommended Pairing: Anything with cream on top should work.
A million people are going to say a million things about Prince today. Everyone knows he was eccentric, often effeminate, and always electric on stage. I hope his musical genius is celebrated as much as his penchant for purple, parties and making white mom's uncomfortable across America.
Here's Prince stealing the show form a stage of fellow musical greats. Skip to the 3:30 minute mark for his great hat and even better solo. Such tone!
He crushed the Super Bowl back in 2007. He played originals and covers through a rainstorm at halftime. This is easily my favorite Prince signature look; The symbol, the teal suit, and that silly headband thing.
Prince showed up in one of the best episodes of New Girl where he sang, danced, espoused the virtues of love, and introduced us to his pet butterfly.
And here's a clip from the Animaniacs using some Prince word play to sneak a very adult joke into a cartoon I saw when I was still in elementary school.
2016 has been a tough year for musical icons and we're certainly going to miss Bowie and Prince, but at least we'll always have music to remember him by.
He was weird. He was wonderful. He will be missed.
Prince was the best. Game. Blouses.