Whats green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Worrying won't prevent tomorrow's problems, it just steals today's peace.

My professor loved a Johnny Cash album.

Put this as your status if you know or are related to someone who was killed on Alderaan when it was obliterated by the Death Star. Our wish is that people will understand that the Empire is a band of murdering scum. The Rebel Alliance wants to bring peace to the galaxy, but ……the…Galactic Empire continues to kill innocent civilians. (93% of people won’t copy/paste this into their status.

The Night Attack was a battle fought between the forces of Wallachian Prince Vlad III, known as Vlad the Impaler, and the forces of Mehmed II, sultan of the Ottoman Empire. After Vlad raided Bulgaria and killed more than 20,000 Turks and Bulgarians, Mehmed marched on Wallachia, and the two powers fought a series of skirmishes. In the Night Attack, Vlad attacked the Turkish camp in an attempt to assassinate Mehmed. The attempt failed, but Mehmed retreated anyway. Why?

Hello everybody!

Christmas.

We’re going to the high-school, not fucking build-a-bear!

“YOU LOOK LIKE A TAMPON THAT WAS DIPPED IN SKITTLES AND VOMIT”

who the fuck are you
who the fuck are you
i asked you first
i asked you second

“I’m in.”
“Really?”
“FUCK NO you guys are assholes!”

“Fucking shit is that a gremlin”
“No I’m a 3rd grader”
“Whatever just no one feed that fucking thing after midnight.”