Happy 40th.
For a minute the other day I let my mind wander into the what if, how we would celebrate today... Were you there in the daydream did you join my mind for just a second, it was a good daydream.
We were so damn foolish and young all those traumas that we let fuck with us and make more trauma.
I'm sipping Malibu and pineapple, little sad, going to go to the beach and put my toes in the sand and then put them in a lake. I'm going to have a grand adventure today like we used to. I'll think of you with everything breath.
You didn't know I loved you and I'm so sorry. I fucked up so badly. I should have told you. In hindsight you gave me time after time to do it and I just blindly walked through them, bungled them. Oh bud, one hour with mature versions of us and we'd say all the things... Or maybe they were best left said.
I miss you with every breath.

fbook blocked me and that wasn't your account anyway was it. this is yours. I miss you. I am so damn sorry. I was young and stupid. I am getting better, stronger. I still see you everywhere. I will never stop loving you. You will never not be a massive void in my soul. I feel you, I still feel you every day.