God. I miss you so much it hurts. I'm laying on the couch right outside your room and I can't help but wish things were different. I'd do anything to have you here again. We need you here. The memories are starting to fade and its killing me. I miss you so much Taylor. I hope you're truly at peace and you are out there looking over us. The thought of you as my guardian angel truly brings me comfort but I'd rather be eternally uncomfortable just to have you back, even if just for a day. I know thats not possible but I wish it was. I wish I knew you better. Was nicer to you. Wasn't such an annoying stupid little kid. Believe me I savor the memories I do have but what I'd do for just one more with you in it. You are my only uncle and it destroys me inside that you're gone. I've learned to carry on for you and the rest of the family, but sometimes its just so hard. I try to get passionate about things you were so I can feel closer to you, but it's never fully satisfying. I know I'm being unseasonably selfish, but god damnit Taylor, the truth is the family has fallen apart since you left us. No I don't blame you, there's no way I could ever do that. But your death has put such a toll on us its become so hard to be a family. I try to remind everyone to love one another cause they never know what tomorrow may bring, but my words are hitting stone walls. I wish you would just slap us in the face and tell us to stop being so damn stubborn and love each other with all we have, cause in the end, family is all we have. Words can't describe the hurt in my heart, I couldn't even begin to explain it to someone. I just want you back. I want my family back. This simple times. I know I pissed you off and I hope you know I am so deeply sorry for that. I'd trade my soul to make it up to you. They tell me that you know but I wish I could hear it from you.
As I lay starring at the door to your room I try to savor the memories but I can't help but want more. Want answers. Want to know what kind of person you'd be today. If you'd gone into music or something that required a lot of schooling. If you'd have a family of your own. I just hate not knowing. The one thing that makes it the slightest bit easier is Jace. Hes changed so much but there's times he reminds me of you, with his ambitions that go further than the moon. His love for the stars, and music. There is actually one other thing that makes it just the slightest bit more bearable is that one day I will actually see you again. To be honest I hope that its not too soon cause I know the family needs me and I need them.
I just wish I wouldn't have screwed my life up so much. I wish I could have made you proud to call me your niece, but one day, I don't know when but I swear I will make you proud of me.
I love you Taylor Shawn Hall, not a day goes by that I don't think of you, and I promise that will never change. Keep resting and being at peace but if you can please look out for us too. I'm really worried about your mother, she hasn't taken the last almost eight years so well...my god it's already been almost eight years we've been without your crazy, wild, sporadic, caring, enthusiastic, passionate self. They say it gets easier in time, and that time heals all wounds but to be honest I don't think this wound will ever heal. I just want to say I miss you every moment of every day, and although I know you're at peace and no longer suffering, I wish the circumstances were completely different.
You are my only uncle and I will never forget the times you did tolerate me (even if just for a moment) and never will I forget you.
Rest in a joyous land of peace, drums guitar and of course some mayhem.
Forever in my mind and forever in my heart.
TSH, I will love you for the rest of my natural life and far after that. I love you uncle. And one of these days I swear I'm going to snatch that duck of yours :) please don't forget about us, but enjoy meeting all your heros up there. I can't wait to hear the stories when we finally meet again. Rest in peace you most handsome angel. I.Love.You.♡😘