It doesn't get easier but it's something we all hope to be able to face, challenge, interact with, hopefully experience&find beauty even in it's most tragic times. A death of a loved one is still a loved one who has given us memories that we can hold& cherish, bringing life lessons, like the recognition that life is too short, we should take care of ourselves, but also not be afraid to take risks, because you never know tomorrow, experience what you can, and experience it with those around you, make friends, keep friends, hold close to your families, cherrish life mates, help others and look to experience life while you can. We have to face our fears, and our challenges, whatever they may be, life or death, summon all your guts and face whats coming, but don't be hindered by it. There lies beauty even in the saddest of tales...

I have my confidence now to go out into the world as just myself, although it took a long time before it got here. I've had my depressing periods and I still have my moments; there are times still when I just want to collapse, but I don't want to fall down that Well again. Summer 2010 was special to me because I was finally able to regain myself and gain more confidence in myself more than I ever had, I want to stay strong, and hopefully I'll be even better in the future. As hard as it is at times to do, I'm willing to do almost anything to stay above this time, in my times of trouble where I feel like I can no longer handle it myself, I look to my admiable close friends that I hold. I will not turn a blind eye when something happens that isn't something I would've hoped for, I stand as a witness and I try my best to stay strong as I face it.

I will never forget the ones that felt so close to me yet I lost. I feel guilty for a lot of what I've done and my mistakes I've made and if I could make them right or do it over again I'd give anything to do that. I once thought i was finally free from the toughest moments of my life, but they come back, and new conflicts occur. I'll always love my friends no matter what, especially the ones that still stick by me. Amy, Mandy, David, Jakey, Kyle, Kitty, Kevin and Jasmin are awesome besties, and are cool too in letting me be who I am. I thank my family and Alexandre for raising me despite hardships and disagreements at times. I miss my bunny Cherry that used to wait for me everyday in our kitchen. I thank Desi because she was willing to listen to me even when almost everyone else had given up, or turned away, even when it was repetitious and affected her at times too, and so without her I might not still be here. Thank you Jake D for all your support, love, care and acceptance,you're the first person i ever had the chance to meet that was so accepting and still kind and was able to stick by me.