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WHAT YOU MISSED OVER THE WEEKEND

Lena Dunham & Ann Coulter Had a Worse Weekend Than You

John Shearer/Getty Images
By Eran Ryan • September 06, 2016

And everything else that happened over the long weekend.

Welcome back to the work grind. We hope everyone out there had a fun and safe weekend. While you were nursing those gnarly hangovers, a lot went down over the three-day break.

Lena Dunham apologized for exhibiting yet another severe case of foot-in-mouth syndrome, but the internet was was having it. Rob Lowe narrowly escaped his Comedy Central Roast thanks to Ann Coulter's presence in the room. Stanford University sex offender, Brock Turner, was granted an early release from prison, and some good samaritans with guns were kind enough to welcome him home. Made in America music festival took place in Philadelphia, but it wasn’t who was on stage that was causing a commotion so much as it was the star-studded spectators behind the scenes.

Here’s what you missed over the weekend.

 

Lena Dunham Gets No Love

On Friday, the Girls star sat down with Amy Schumer for a Lenny Letter interview to discuss their experiences from the night of the 2016 Met Gala. While most attendees are lost in the splendor and extravagance of the insanely exclusive, invitation-from-Anna-Wintour-herself-only event, Dunham and Schumer instead found themselves bored with the festivities and full of complaints. It was then that Dunham mentioned that her seat was next to Odell Beckham Jr., wide receiver for the New York Giants, and because he wasn’t engaging her in conversation and instead chose to play around on his phone, she assumed it had something to do with his lack of sexual interest in her and took it personally. She stated: "I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, 'That's a marshmallow. That's a child. That's a dog.' It wasn't mean—he just seemed confused. The vibe was very much like, 'Do I want to f–k it? Is it wearing a…yep, it's wearing a tuxedo. I'm going to go back to my cell phone.'"

Naturally, people were confused. Beckham remained silent on the situation, so people came to his defense via Twitter. Under attack and feeling the heat, Dunham tweeted out a personal apology, blaming the discrediting accusations on her lack of physical self-confidence.

 

I owe Odell Beckham Jr an apology. Despite my moments of bravado, I struggle at industry events (and in life) with the sense that I don't rep a certain standard of beauty and so when I show up to the Met Ball surrounded by models and swan-like actresses it's hard not to feel like a sack of flaming garbage. This felt especially intense with a handsome athlete as my dinner companion and a bunch of women I was sure he'd rather be seated with. But I went ahead and projected these insecurities and made totally narcissistic assumptions about what he was thinking, then presented those assumptions as facts. I feel terrible about it. Because after listening to lots of valid criticism, I see how unfair it is to ascribe misogynistic thoughts to someone I don't know AT ALL. Like, we have never met, I have no idea the kind of day he's having or what his truth is. But most importantly, I would never intentionally contribute to a long and often violent history of the over-sexualization of black male bodies- as well as false accusations by white women towards black men. I'm so sorry, particularly to OBJ, who has every right to be on his cell phone. The fact is I don't know about his state of mind (I don't know a lot of things) and I shouldn't have acted like I did. Much love and thanks, Lena

A photo posted by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on


Although the attempt was genuine, it was too little too late for those who felt she brought unnecessary and unwanted attention to the footballer, and the internet let her have it. Many felt as though she had (once again) taken advantage of the fact that her fame has granted her a voice, and she chose to use that freedom in a terrible way.


 

The Roast of... Ann Coulter?

For anyone who’s ever seen a Comedy Central Roast, you know that they’re often pretty harsh. While most celebrities in the hotseat go out and have drinks with the people who were spewing lovingly slanderous, expletive-filled diatribes only moments prior, the average civilian would go home and cry into their pillow and question a lot of those so-called “friendships.”


Rob Lowe stepped into the comedy ring prepared to be battered and bruised, only to be saved by Ann Coulter. Her very presence was so distracting that many of the famous faces doing the roasting, such as musician Jewel and comedian Nikki Glaser, hurled their insults toward Coulter. In her unsolicited novel titled Godless: The Church of Liberalism, the blonde-haired Cryptkeeper infamously wrote about the widows of September 11, stating “These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzies. I have never seen people enjoying their husbands’ death so much.” Yup, she went there. It was only right that the roasters went in on her as hard as possible, all while exercising the utmost politeness.

 

Brock Turner Goes Home

Convicted Stanford University rapist, Brock Turner, was granted an early release from jail this past weekend. The former undergraduate swimmer was to serve a six-month jail sentence for sexually assaulting an intoxicated student behind a dumpster on campus back in January of 2015, but held no prior criminal record and was let out early as a result. The case originally made headlines not just because of the absurdity in the lack of punishment befalling the criminal, but because of the judge who handed it down, stating that the young man had a promising athletic career and he didn’t want to see it tarnished by the situation. The judge has since stepped down from his position following another terrible sentencing choice for another convicted rapist, this weekend left the concerned public demanding his full resignation. 


Upon arriving home to his parents’ house in Ohio, Turner was met by a friendly group of neighbors, welcoming him home with signs that read heartwarming things like “Castrate Turner” or “If I rape Brock will I only get 3 months?” The welcoming committee brought over their personal collections of assault rifles to let the disgraced athlete know that he was in safe hands. A local artist even did his best Banksy and gifted the Turner Family with their own sidewalk mural. The generosity of this housewarming brigade will be talked about by the Turner Family for years to come.

 

Made In America

The Made In America music festival took place this weekend in Philadelphia, and the Jay Z-run function was the talk of many towns, not just for the big names he enlisted to perform, but for who he was hanging out with offstage. Beyoncé was photographed laughing it up with former-POTUS Bill Clinton, who happened to be in town doing political things. The group looked as cosy as ever, with Bey and Bill smiling, and Jay sitting comfortably nearby. While some took to the internet to express their assumptions that this was Beyoncé's way of endorsing Hillary for President, the theory was swiftly shut down, as she has never officially made a statement. For now, we’ll just chalk it up to the Carters befriending all of the cool presidential families, first place of course going to the Obamas.



Speaking of, the Obama offspring, Malia and Sasha, were spotted giving festival life another try following the chaos that ensued with Malia’s provocative dancing and smoking of an unidentified substance at Lollapalooza back in August. Of course, it helps when Beyoncé is there to show you the ropes. Malia trolled her naysayers by sporting a simple but funny “smoking kills” t-shirt. The sisters hung out in the crowd having a good time. Sasha was even lifted onto someone’s shoulders so that she could have a better view of Chance the Rapper serenading Bey with his personal rendition of “Happy Birthday.” What a time to be alive.

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