With 'Independence Day' here, we're here to help you fight the little green men.
The menace from outer space is among us once again. Twenty years after the first attack, the scheming aliens are sending a new batch of spaceships our way to make sure Independence Day: Resurgence looks as grand as the '90s sci-fi disaster blockbuster. But what do you do when neither Liam Hemsworth nor Jeff Goldblum are around? Then you have to figure it all out by yourself. Luckily, we have more than enough advice for anyone who wants to survive an alien invasion and see more Independence Day sequels.
Don’t Expect Them to Be Nice
Pop culture's gotta be good for something, right? And if anything, it taught us that aliens are never there to help/save/befriend us. They’re here to party on our graves and leave a Project X aftermath the size of the whole planet. So once you hear a local news anchor announcing the arrival of extraterrestrial guests, waste no time on being curious. Yep, they’re mean. No, you can’t stay at your house. Yes, your dog will most likely survive the impending battle, but your neighbors won’t.
Don’t Be a Tourist
Always wanted to see Taj Mahal? Then why the hell did you wait until the alien invasion? Every respected alien knows that you gotta destroy the landmarks first, because such pointless acts of intergalactic terrorism make for dramatic movie posters and uber-impressive trailers. So in case there’s a UFO in town, stay away from all the famous buildings. Why do aliens have to make such lousy tourists? Can’t they just, you know, take an explosion-free selfie for once?
It’s Time To Re-Connect With Loved Ones
Have a long-lost lover? A child you couldn’t provide for before the invasion? A bitchy ex-wife you still can’t let go of? Well, any semi-close relative will work as long as he/she is as far away from you as possible. Don’t let the fact that he/she can’t possibly be among this .0009% of survivors stop you. You need a purpose to keep fighting, pretending you’re an action hero and looking cool in a leather jacket in front of all the ruins. So think of anyone worth saving and let the chase against aliens and logic begin.
Stay Away From Police
Should you call 911 during an ongoing alien invasion? The answer is a strict “Nein.” Police, as well as military forces and doctors, are most likely following some top-secret report from the government that will most likely result in you dying in a horrible way once the plan is proven to be “underdeveloped.” Just think about this: if they let all of this happen already, why would they be able to help you out now? Plus cooperating with police is the least cool thing an action hero like your can do.
Avoid Bunkers
Sure, it may look tempting to lock yourself in a bunker or some other seemingly safe haven, but these always come equipped with a less-than-stable owner. (Basket) case in point: Tim Robbins in War of the Worlds and John Goodman in 10 Cloverfield Lane. Don’t be fooled by their welcoming smiles and easy-going attitude—if a person decided to lock himself up in a tiny basement instead of making all his teenage sci-fi dreams come true and getting in on all the alien-battling action, then there’s something seriously worrying about him.
Blueprints All The Way
Even see a character in an alien invasion flick operating from a five-star hotel? Neither have we. If you decide to lead the resistance initiative, then be ready to occupy less than comfortable spaces. And for that you’ll need more than Google Maps apps, as—news flash—the signal will be off. So make sure to get an actual city map as well as the blueprints of the local sewer systems. Sorry, saving the world is a stinky job.
Don’t Sleep With Aliens
…even if they’re sexy and look like ('90s reference alert) Natasha Henstridge in Species or Scarlett Johansson in Under the Skin. The invasion of seductive shape-shifting aliens sounds much more appealing than a plain military attack, but don’t feel safe. These almost-human species are most likely using you for nesting, food or at the very least mind control. And if you need an example of human/alien interaction gone badly, please re-watch that scene from Prometheus.
Film Everything
Extra drinking water? A gun? Screw all of that! Just put as many batteries and power banks for your camera in your backpack and make sure to catch every juicy detail (and also hours of boring walking around and unnecessary plot twists) on film. There will probably never be an Oscar ceremony once aliens take over our land, but who knows, maybe there’s some intergalactic competition for alien invasion home movies?