Welcome back to another edition of This Week in Streaming, the cord-cutters guide to the week that was—without a cable subscription. This week, we're waiting for someone to honestly explain the significance of the Panama Papers in an easily digestible animation, gobbling up every bit of Star Wars content available and getting suspiciously optimistic for Suicide Squad .

'The Panama Papers' 

Recommended dosage: Just pour a fifth of whiskey into your coffee maker

2.6 Terabytes containing over 11 million documents was leaked this past week revealing a sprawling shadowy underworld of hidden wealth amongst the world's elite. Upon hearing this news, I thumbed through a lot of the usual websites looking for the gist.

Nothing. Well, nothing huge. Not yet, anyway.

Sure, there's been a few big names attached, like Vladamir Putin (by way of a dozen of his cronies, and the Prime Minister of Iceland, Sigmundur David Gunnlaugsson who just stepped down from his position amidst the controversy). 

Initially I had hoped, as many regular working class people did (at least the ones that heard about it), that within this trove of leaked data we would find a foothold in which we might be able to finally push back against the handful of James Bond villain style super-elites. We figured that somehow we would happen upon a document that would jumpstart our ability to mount an offensive against the oppressive powers that be, and demand that the world become a fair place.

I mean, obviously that's not going to happen.

The real problem is that it's been about a week and nobody has been able to create that one great little sharable video that could be sent out to and shared with our family and friends. Nobody really understands what it all means yet, and pretty soon it'll be old news and out of our collective consciousness.

The ICIJ (The International Consortium of Investigative Journalists) put out a super heavy video that traces the money from tax havens to funding death from above in Syria, bribery, drug trafficking, and money laundering.

That's a great piece of new-journalism rife with information and intrigue, but we need someone to explain this whole ordeal in a three minute animation with a few fart jokes or whatever ASAP. It doesn't look like we're gonna get one, however. The closest thing I've seen to anyone capitalizing on this story, or even talking about it, is this short video circling social media feeds from Bernie supporters:

and this meme:

That's a solid meme, but simply politicizing the story doesn't really help me learn the specifics of the actual leak. I know this whole thing is super important and I want to care about this story, but I don't want it simply acknowledged through a political lens. Can someone wake up John Stewart or get John Oliver and his team on working on this before the whole thing blows over?

I want to be angry at some rich dicks, stat.

'Rogue One' 

Recommended dosage: A Dead Guy Ale followed with a shot of Fireball

The Force Awakens was released on Blu-ray, which means HD copies are currently pouring out of the Internet and streaming on laptops everywhere. Amidst all of the Episode 7 love and illegal downloading, a trailer for the first companion piece to the franchises reboot was released.

Boom! Alright, let's get into it with some wild speculation from a guy who knows nothing about the Star Wars extended universe, only information from the seven films and this trailer. 

• I first read the synopsis for this film when I was seven years old

• Jyn Erso is Rey's mom
• Some idiot dudes are going to be upset about another strong female lead character
• I'm going to be buying Rey and Jyn Erso stuff for my niece for the next five Christmases

Honestly though, it's really nice to have a cool, family friendly franchise to cut through the super hero franchise's monopoly on our big screens.

Also, I like that i can nerd out with my niece about Star Wars knowing her connection to to the films won't have to look like this:

It will look like this:

Or this:

'Suicide Squad' 

Recommended dosage: A Dead Guy Ale followed with a shot of Fireball

Speaking of female role models in movies, here's the trailer for Suicide Squad that I pray my niece doesn't see featuring an insane bimbo and a witch! 

It looks pretty good, actually. Sorry Hailey, we shan't be discussing this one any time soon. Not even about how they basically just copied the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer (to great effect, I might add). It's a fantastic trailer.

Initially I had no interest in this movie at all. I mean, once they coupled Jared Leto as the Joker with this picture I was out.

Ugh.

Just looking at those tattoos for a second gets me thinking the trailer might be the best thing to come from this movie again. 

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I don't want to end the column like that...

Ok, scroll back up to the Rogue One trailer and watch it again, but this time pay attention to my favorite Joker of all time, Mark Hamill in the preview clips for Star Wars: Force for Change. He's been making this same intense sad, silent face since the end of Episode 7.

Are we sure he's ok? Mark, you alright, bud? Mark?