From the Beatles to Macklemore, here is your ultimate shopping playlist.
Black Friday is here, and we all know how daunting it can be. How do you stay positive while standing in the lines? What can calm your nerves when that oh so perfect pair of jeans was snatched right from your hands? And who will console you when the store runs out of the newest gadgets you desperately needed to enhance your holiday experience? That’s right, shopaholics: only music! We came up with a list of songs that are guaranteed to put you in the right mood before, during and after the great spending. And we’re not charging extra for that!
Natalia Kills ft. Will.I.Am – “Free”
Natalia Kills will not be free from her recent scandal anytime soo— aggressively criticizing a performer for no apparent reason on live TV wasn’t the pop star’s best decision (which even led to a stage name change—she goes by Teddy Sinclair these days). But the drama aside, you can’t argue with the fact that “Free,” a Will.i.am-assisted single from Kills’ debut record Perfectionist, is indeed perfectly suited for any shopping spree. Even the one that’s limited to window shopping. “My wallet's anorexic, can I pay my rent the next month?” should be on any shopaholic’s excuse list.
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis — “Thrift Shop”
As the best ode to second-hand shopping assures us, it’s fun to kick it around a thrift shop if you’re feeling like “popping some tags” but “only got twenty dollars” in your pocket. The options are limitless: from “gator shoes” to velour jumpsuits. (Or a knee board and a broken keyboard if you’re feeling extra adventurous.) There’s only one trick with thrift shopping: Make sure you’re not buying presents for the people who use the very same store to get rid of their flannel zebra jammies. (Side note: Did anyone ever ask Macklemore if he finally got that $50 Gucci t-shirt?) With all the success the saxophone-heavy single brought him, we’re sure he must have cleaned up a little.
Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars — “Billionaire”
Long before “Uptown Funk” and a string of highly emotional solo hits turned Bruno Mars into an actual billionaire, he teamed up with Gym Class Heroes’ frontman Travie McCoy for a mutual cry for fortune and fame. Put on this song while strutting across the mall’s halls and just for a moment pretend that it all did come true: you’re stupidly rich, you are invited to sit next to Oprah and you do have a couple of adopted kids waiting for you at home. And just like that, you’re not feeling bad about not being able to buy that overly-expensive pair of shoes anymore!
Rihanna — “Bitch Better Have My Money”
Rihanna’s knockout hit may have been aimed at her poor ex-accountant, but we’re using this banger as our ultimate take-no-prisoners-or-sales anthem. Play it once you’ve done shopping for friends and family and ready to score some goodies for the VIP: You! And seeing how Rihanna’s representing tons of brands these days—from Dior to Puma—you’re most likely putting your money under her umbrella. Tweet your receipts to Rihanna and add “Bitch better have my money.” Or simply savor all the gory imagery of the music video after the day spent in lines.
Abba — “Money Money Money”
Funnily enough, this dramatic tune about the downside of being a grown up followed Abba’s ode to careless youth, “Dancing Queen.” Sure, things look easy and fun when you’re “only seventeen” and spinning under the discoball, but when it’s time to pay the bills, you better figure out a way to stay afloat. Abba’s options are pretty spectacular: try your luck in Las Vegas or Monaco or find a wealthy man. While both of these ideas sound appealing, let’s start with the right look: Put on the Swedes’ hit and run to the closest discount store to turn into a proper disco diva while staying on budget.
Jidenna — “Classic Man”
Who said the men hate shopping? They just need the right soundtrack! Jidenna’s tune is catchy enough to make every guy consider exchanging a pair of skinny jeans and a flannel shirt for a slick suit and maybe even a pair of suspenders (it’s about time you’ve finally figured out how to wear those anyway). But judging by Jidenna’s video, it’s not just clothes that make the man, but also his dancing. So you might want to consider taking a few dance lessons once you’re done with all the card swiping.
The Beatles — “Can’t Buy Me Love”
How often do your parents respond with the “Oh, just come visit us, that will be enough!” when asked what they want for presents? While love is indeed the best gift one can give to another, we know how it feels to spend hours walking around stores and trying to come up with a decent gift idea. We recommend this feel-good number as a source of inspiration and a useful energy bump during this exhausting brainstorming. Also never mind what Paul McCartney told you: “I don’t need a diamond ring” said no one ever.
Krayshawn — “Gucci Gucci”
The song was destined to be played while walking across fancy stores, not walking inside and feeling like an advanced bitch who’s ready to take down all the basic ones. Got bored while shopping? How about cooling off while getting a Krayshawn-inspired nose chain? And then you can grab some swagger-filled clothes for your friends and turn a holiday into your own fashion week with a Periscope-streamed runway shows. Basic bitches, behold!